I Will Never Be Broken
by Rivermoon1970
Summary: Spencer Reid was born with a mysterious tattoo that he's never been able to explain. One day Hotch comes to check on the young genius only to discover Spencer's secret, the problem? Hotch has the same exact tattoo. What does this mean and how will it change the friendship of the two men. Sort-of Slash, but not explicit.
1. The Tattoo

**This story is in response to a writers challenge on a Facebook group. The prompt was when you're born somewhere on your body is the first words that your soul mate has spoken. This is my take on that challenge.**

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><p><em>Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all - <em>Ovid

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><p>Phoenix 2005, Mid-June<p>

Dr. Spencer Reid had been with the BAU or Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI for approximately two years. Yet this was the first time that he was forced to take a shower at the local police station. He and his partner Derek Morgan had been rummaging in and out of dumpsters all around Phoenix AZ in 100 degree temperatures. This was horrifying for two simple reasons, one, Dr. Reid was a major germaphobe and two they had recovered more grisly body parts. So far the pair had found parts belonging to, by the ME's estimation, five different bodies, all women. They carefully catalogued each scene before they quickly moved onto the next. By the time it got too hot for them to continue they finally made their way into the Phoenix Sheriff's office to give a more detailed accounting of their day to their Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner.

When they walked in not only were they dirty and disheveled, but the stench had everyone in the station holding their noses and teasing the pair of FBI agents. This fact was made very public when Reid's best friend and the units media liaison Jennifer Jareau, or JJ as she is affectionately called, stopped them and said, "Un uh, you two reek, before you even get 20 feet in front of Hotch you need to go take a shower". She made a grimace at both her friends as they walked by.

"Well I wouldn't if Morgan hadn't made me help him and believe me when I say this was one of the worst days of my life," Spencer said rather angrily looking over at Derek Morgan.

"Hey pretty boy I was not going to be the only one to get dirty out there so suck it up. Let's get cleaned up then maybe I'll let you chew me out". Morgan said playfully.

Reid, being an MIT graduate and certified genius was already plotting his revenge, and when it happened, Morgan wouldn't know what hit him. His thoughts were swirling in his head as they made their way down to the station showers. Luckily they both had their go bags in the SUV they had just occupied, or this would have been really awkward.

As they were showering Morgan looked over at Reid and was stopped in his tracks. His mouth agape and his mind was swirling as he looked over at the tattoo that was wrapped around his friends left hip. The ink wasn't quite black, it was almost like it was all shades of blue through black, almost iridescent in nature. The beautiful swirling letters almost seemed to move of their own accord whenever Reid moved about. The effect was quite hypnotic and Morgan was slightly transfixed when he finally found his voice again.

"Um Reid?"

Normally Spencer was a bit body shy, but not today. Today he just wanted to get clean and forget the whole dumpster diving incident. "What?" He was still a little angry at his friend for coercing him into helping, but stopped when he saw the expression on Morgan's face.

"Morgan? What the hell?"

"I should be asking you that question kid. You've been hiding a secret".

Reid looked confused not knowing what Morgan was talking about. Then his eyes followed where Morgan was looking and sighed deeply. He turned around but didn't explain the tattoo.

"You've been hiding some ink there pretty boy," Morgan playfully teased.

Reid wasn't sure how to explain the tattoo. He had been born with it and no one could tell him what it meant. He had heard whispered stories, and did extensive internet research into the mysterious birthmark. What he had gleaned was mostly conjecture for no one was willing to confirm or deny whether the rumors were true.

"Oh, that". It actually wasn't too bad, but he hated explaining it because most people didn't believe him.

Morgan chuckled at how matter-of-fact his friend was about it. "You wanna explain kid? When'd you get it?"

He knew that if he ignored Morgan it would only get worse. The older man would just try to get it out of him one way or another. "Not sure you're going to believe me".

"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Morgan heard something in Reid's voice that told him this was a sensitive subject.

"Well," Reid took a deep breath and quietly said, "Because I was born with it".

"Seriously? I've only heard stories and never met anyone who had a tattoo birthmark. So, you ever find you're soulmate?"

"If you believe the stories, that is. No, I've never met my soulmate". Reid turned back around and sighed in frustration. He had been able to keep it a secret from his team for over two years and now, knowing Morgan, everyone was going to know.

"Can I ask what's it say?" Morgan started to sense that this was not only a sensitive subject, but deeply personal as well.

Reid stopped in the middle of washing his long curly hair looked over at Morgan and was surprised to hear the compassion in the older man's voice. "You know, you're the first person to actually ask me. I don't even want to go into what happened with the football team," Reid shudders at the horrible memory and Morgan realized just how bad it may have been for the young genius.

"Hey kid, if you don't want to talk about it, I get it. I'm sorry Reid," And he really was. He never wanted to do anything to hurt his friend, especially something so obviously personal.

"No, it's okay. It's just that it was nice to be asked for a change. It says, 'I Will Never Be Broken,' and I guess it's sort of become my personal motto…" Reid got quiet as he thought about his life up till now.

"Hey, Reid if you don't want anyone to know, I promise I won't say anything. Okay?"

Reid frowned and was surprised that his friend was being so contrite. "Thank you Derek, I'd really appreciate it, at least for now".

Morgan smiled, "No problem kid, come on finish-up so we can go tell Hotch all about you're dumpster diving adventure". He got a wicked glint in his eye and the slight teasing tone put Reid back on an even keel. They both finished with their showers so they quickly dressed and went to deliver their report to their boss. The tattoo, for now, was completely forgotten.

The case quickly broke after the Morgan-Reid dumpster diving incident. The unsub was not as smart as he thought he was. DNA evidence was all over the dismembered bodies and luckily their tech analyst Penelope Garcia was able to get a match. The unsub was apprehended quickly and with no loss of life.

It would be another six months before anyone else on the team ever knew about Reid's secret.

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><p>Georgia 2006 4 days after Super Bowl Sunday<p>

Hotch runs up to Reid, catching him in a fast hug, "I knew you'd understand," Is all Reid would say as the not so stoic Unit Chief held onto the young man. Reid had been captured by a tortured young man with dissociative personality disorder and for two days Reid had been tortured and forced to choose between the lives of the young man's potential victims. Unfortunately Dr. Reid had to shoot Tobias Hankel to save his own life, but he got no enjoyment out of that act. Hotch was trying to get the Dr. to go to the hospital to make sure he was okay, but Reid refused saying he just wanted to go to the hotel and clean up. Hotch acquiesced because some fights just weren't worth it. As they were leading the young agent out of cemetery he stopped and asked if he could have a moment with Tobias. No one stopped him, they all somehow understood. What they didn't see was the fact that Dr. Reid had reached into the dead man's pocket and taken two vials of the drug dilauded.

The team had been shaken-up by the events of the last four days they just wanted to go home. It was early the next morning that the team was able to make it back home to Quantico Virginia. Reid was given three weeks medical leave to heal from his injuries, but Hotch couldn't keep the young man off of his mind.

"Hotch, if you're worried about Spencer, just go see him," Jason Gideon, his second-in-command, had suggested. He noticed that his friend and Unit Chief had been antsy after that first week back from Georgia.

"Yeah, maybe you're right Jason, I'm just going to get these files done then I'll go over there to see how he's doing". He had somehow felt responsible for Reid's capture and torture and he just wanted to see if Reid was okay.

"Well, don't stay too late Hotch". Jason said as he picked up his briefcase after he add some files to it and headed out the door. Hotch watched him leave, and as usual he was the only one left in the office. Ever since his wife had left him and he was living in an apartment away from his son going home was a dismal prospect as of late. They were having a battle of wills over the custody of their son Jack, but Hotch knew that the law was on his side and eventually things would work out. He did not want to use his son as a bargaining chip in their impending divorce. But he didn't want to think about these things while he was trying to finish the paperwork on his desk. However, he knew that the gnawing worry in his gut told him to go see Spencer. Finally he threw down his pen, got some paperwork to go, grabbed his briefcase and finally left the office.

It was almost 8:30 by the time he made it to Spencer's apartment. His initial knock on the door went unanswered, so he knocked again. When there was no response he called the young agent on the phone. When there was no answer he yelled, "Reid, are you in there?" and he knocked again.

Finally after what seemed like forever he heard the click of a lock and stood face to face with a disheveled looking Dr. Reid.

"What the hell do you want?" He said with a slight slur to his voice.

"Reid…Spencer, what is going on here?" Hotch had put on his stoic office mask as he looked around the young man and into the apartment. He took notice of the disaster that was the current state of Spencer's apartment. He looked closer at the young man and narrowed his eyes, and said in his sternest office voice, "Reid, are you high?" He saw the telltale signs, bloodshot glassy eyes, twitching of the muscles and an inability to focus.

"No, I'm not, why would you ask me that?" Reid was trying to hide the fact that he had spent the last week in a drug induced stupor. If he hadn't have been then Hotch wouldn't have so easily shoved past him to get all the way inside the apartment.

Hotch pushed the young man up against the wall, grabbed his right arm and pushed the robe up and saw the needle marks. He then moved to the other side and when he leaned to the left his hip made contact with Spencer's and all of a sudden they both felt a shock, almost as if a bolt of electricity had hit the both of them. Hotch suddenly pulled back, eyes wide he saw the same shocked look on his young agents face.

"What the hell was that?" Hotch said still a little stunned.

Reid opened his robe and pushed his boxers on his left hip down till Hotch could see the tattoo with the words, "I Will Not Be Broken". All of a sudden all of the air left Hotch's lungs as he stumbled backwards and fell hard against the sofa.

"It can't be…" He looked back up at Spencer who was still recovering from the shock.

"What can't be?" He asked his boss, his friend when all of a sudden he noticed he was sober. Completely and totally sober, it was as if the shock had drained his body of the drugs and he thought clearly for the first time since coming home from Georgia.

Hotch slowly got up from the floor and started to undue his trousers.

"Umm Hotch, what, what are you doing?" The boy genius was suddenly very afraid of what his boss was going to do.

"Just…just be quiet a moment". Hotch said as he continued to work the buttons and zipper. He pushed the pants and his boxers off of his left hip and showed Spencer just what was there.

Spencer gasped and stared at the tattoo clearly written in blue-black iridescent ink with swirling letters were the words, "I Will Not Be Broken". Spencer's breath became shallow and neither man could move or say anything for the longest time.

"So, what does this mean?" Spencer had closed his robe and walked up to Hotch. He experimentally laid a hand on the older man's hip wanting to see if there would be a reaction. Spencer was surprised when he felt a warm sensation move up his arm. He stilled and looked in his unit chief's eyes and for the first time Spencer noticed a depth of feeling he hadn't ever paid attention to before.

Hotch's breathing was shallow as he watched to see what Spencer was going to do and when he felt the younger man's touch, it was as if his whole body had suddenly woken up for the first time. He said in a quiet voice, "I have no idea Spencer".

"Do you know what the words mean?" Spencer asked, breathless, anticipating what the handsome older man was going to do.

"Actually I do…" The memory of the day Aaron Hotchner said those words was forever burned into his memory. Before he explained however he reached out to Spencer and also carefully, so as not to scare the younger man away, placed his hand on Spencer's left hip. He too felt a warm sensation climb up his arm. It wasn't unpleasant, just different. At the same time he was slowly backing the other man up towards the wall.

Spencer swallowed hard because he wasn't sure what was happening, but whatever it was he knew he didn't want it to stop. When he finally hit the wall he realized that Hotch didn't stop he kept moving, leaning in towards Spencer and before the genius knew it soft lips were pressing against his own. Hotch's whole body suddenly felt like it was on fire and as the kiss deepened they both felt a warm flood of energy pass between them as a deep physical connection was made . All of a sudden Hotch could feel Spencer's emotions as if they were his own. Spencer also felt that deep connection being made and his mind was flooded with the conflicting emotions coming from Aaron. After a few moments Hotch broke the kiss and laid his forehead on Spencer's and calmed his breathing.

"I think there's a lot we need to talk about," Hotch said in a dark husky voice.

Frustrated with the loss of contact and still reeling from the kiss Spencer took a moment to process. "Yeah, yeah I guess we do".

Aaron grabbed the young man's hand not wanting to break the newly made physical connection and led him over to the couch, pushing take out boxes and discarded paper coffee cups out of the way, he sat the both of them down.

"Hotch…"

"Spencer, I think in this situation it's okay for you to call me Aaron, don't you think?"

Spencer smiled awkwardly, "Yeah, okay". They sat there for a moment in stunned silence when Spencer finally asked, "Ho…Aaron, what do the words mean?"

Aaron turned and looked at the young man, "As you've noticed I never really talk about my past".

"It's been noticed, but I don't think any of us really have. You didn't know about my Mom till the Fisher King incident".

Aaron nodded his head and looked at the young genius. "I was 15 and my father was dying. He was in the hospital hooked-up to all these machines. It was late September. September 24, 1981, to be exact". Hotch heard Spencer gasp inwardly.

"What is it Spencer?"

"Aaron, that's my birthday".

Hotch slowly smiled remembering the year before when they had celebrated his young genius's birthday, he should have known then. Then he realized just what had gone through his mind, _his young genius_.

"Anyway, I was in my father's hospital room looking down at him and thinking about how all my life this man had tried to break me, tried to make me into what _he _wanted out of a son and nothing was ever good enough. I walked over and said in his ear, 'I will never be broken you son-of-a-bitch'". Hotch was holding back his emotions as the memory of that day flooded his mind.

After a couple of minutes he finally continued telling Spencer about that day, "At that moment I felt searing pain in my left hip. I ran into the bathroom to see what was going on and there it was, my words forever seared onto my skin. I wasn't sure what it meant, but now I think I finally have my answer". He looked at Spencer, the man he had been having highly inappropriate thoughts of ever since he first started with the BAU. The man he didn't want to have feelings for because he had been married and wanted to try to work things out with Haley. The man that somehow, over the course of almost three years had come to mean so much to him was his soul mate. The truth of it slammed into him and for the first time in Aaron Hotchner's personal life something finally made sense.

"Spencer, I don't know what this means, or what we're going to do about it but I think we need to figure it out".

"I don't know either, but we'll figure it out, whatever this is. I value our friendship Hotch and I never…"

"Spencer,"

"Yes?"

"We don't have to be anything more to each other than friends or even companions. No strings".

Spencer looked at his boss and knew that this new journey with each other was going to change them forever. He had always been so alone and even the offer of friendship Hotch was offering was more than he could ever hope for, at least for now. He smiled at Hotch and said, "I'd like that, but Aaron,"

"What is it?"

This was going to be the hard part, admitting he had a problem that the needed help with. Even though the connection had sobered him, the craving was still there. He looked down at the floor, this was harder than he expected it to be. He almost whispered and Hotch had to strain to hear, but Spencer said, "I ah…I think…Aaron, I need help". Aaron felt the shame flooding Spencer's mind.

He pulled the young man in close and said, "Spencer what happened to you wasn't you're fault. To keep doing it would be. I will be here to help you, if you want me".

"Thank you," He needed to believe that Aaron would be there for him, he knew he didn't want to fall into the dark clutches of addiction. He knew it was going to be difficult, and he was scared, but he comfort he felt flowing from the bond settled him and he knew that eventually he'd be okay.

The rest of the evening Hotch helped Spencer clean-up his apartment, they ordered in some dinner and just talked through to the early morning. When they both exhibited signs of sleepiness Spencer said that Hotch could stay the evening.

"That is, if you want to…" Suddenly Spencer was shy and both men were feeling a little overwhelmed.

Aaron swallowed hard and voiced his decision, "I'd like that".

They moved to Spencer's bedroom, stripped to their t-shirts and boxers and climbed into bed. Hotch tentatively reached out and pulled the young man to him and they fell asleep in the warmth and comfort of each other's arms. Hotch knew they had a lot to talk about, but for now this was enough.

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><p>This is a one-shot, but I have some great ideas to expand it if you my lovely readers want me to.<p> 


	2. The Bonding

The next morning Hotch woke-up early and didn't find Spencer in the bed. He closed his eyes and experimentally touched the newly formed bond. As soon as he did he shot out of bed looking for the young agent. What he felt was deep conflicting emotions coming through. He didn't find Spencer in the bathroom so he went out to the front room and saw him sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table staring at the bottles of dilauded. An empty syringe and a rubber tourniquet were also laid out on the table.

"I didn't take it.." Spencer said without turning around.

Aaron frowned, "What?"

"I can feel your fear Aaron, your trepidation. I didn't take it. I've just been sitting here staring at it wondering why it has such a hold on me. I'm supposed to be smarter than this, stronger, but…" Aaron slowly moved towards where Spencer was sitting. "I'm not…" The young man almost whispered. "And I wonder if I take it, will you now feel it? Will you feel what I feel? And would It make you understand or…" He looked down at the ground, but never at Aaron, "Or would it make you hate me". Spencer hunched over and cried.

Aaron carefully lowered himself to the ground and pulled Spencer into him and let the younger man pour out his emotions. "Spencer, I couldn't hate you. But I'll be honest, I'd be disappointed, because you're right, you are smarter than this. But, I've also seen smart men who fall under the allure of addiction". Aaron gently grabbed Spencer's face and much like the evening before, softly kissed him. "Spencer…" He whispered, and then laid his forehead on Spencer's. "I don't know what these feelings I have for you are yet, but Spencer I do have them, can you not feel that?" He laid a hand on Spencer's heart and let the warmth of the bond flow through them. "This is important, this means something, don't destroy it Spencer because now, if you take this, it will be as if we both are taking it. I don't want that, just like you didn't want Tobias to do it to you, I don't want you to do it to me". Aaron's breath was shallow, "Please, Spencer…"

The pleading tone in Aaron's voice caught Spencer off guard because this emotional Aaron was not typical. Typical Aaron Hotchner closed himself off, kept his feelings behind a façade of stoicism, but here he was pleading for Spencer not to inject himself with the narcotic. Spencer finally looked up into Aaron's face and saw the raw emotions playing out on his bond mate's face. He saw the tears that wanted to flow, but were held back by sheer will.

Spencer lifted his hand and stroked Aaron's face softly, tenderly as he crawled into his Unit Chiefs lap. He straddled Aaron and threw his arms around him, letting his head fall on the older man's shoulder. Aaron's arms came up around Spencer and he pulled the young man into him tighter and held on. He held on while Spencer worked through his conflict. He felt Aaron's fear, it was the same fear he had at the hands of Hankel. He didn't want to succumb, didn't want to destroy Aaron or himself, but the cravings, damn the cravings.

Aaron could feel the craving in Spencer and it scared him, scared him to his very core. And before he knew it he pulled Spencer slightly away from him and kissed him, but this time the kiss was heated and passionate. He poured all of his longing and pain into the kiss, trying to convey to Spencer that there was also hope. The appreciative noises coming from the young man went straight to Hotch's crotch and his growing erection. It took everything in him to pull the young man off of him.

"Spencer…" Aaron closed his eyes and worked to get his emotions under control, "We're both very vulnerable right now, I don't know…"

Spencer effectively cut Aaron off with his lips and as he leaned into the older man they both fell to the floor. Spencer slowly started to kiss Aaron's neck, licking a stripe down his chest and made his way to Aaron's very erect cock currently tenting his trousers. Spencer slowly pulled the offending garments off of Aaron as he nipped and licked his way down Aaron's body.

"Spencer, you don't…" All words were lost as Aaron felt the hot, wet mouth descend on him. Spencer engulfed Aaron's throbbing member in his mouth and slowly started to suck. Aaron fisted his hands in Spencer's hair, but didn't force the young agent. He did start to thrust lightly encouraging Spencer to keep going. On some level Aaron knew he should stop this that they were both feeling raw and vulnerable not only from the new bond, but from the fear and confusion Spencer was feeling. However, after Aaron let go the bond flared between them and the heat and warmth from it only encouraged Spencer to continue.

Spencer hallowed his cheeks and swallowed Aaron down and as soon as he did the older man couldn't hold back any longer, he thrust up a couple of more times and he felt himself coming hard down Spencer's throat and when he did the bond cemented itself just that much more.

Aaron sat up and grabbed Spencer and went for another round of passionate kissing, tongues exploring each other, mouths wide open and greedy. Finally Aaron pulled back, "Spencer, what do you want? Tell me what you want". He was pleading, need still coursing through him. He'd never felt anything like this with Haley and that's when he knew. He knew that Haley was never meant for him, that it was always going to be Spencer.

"Take me Aaron, please, make me yours. Take this pain away, replace my need let it be you and only you". Spencer pleaded almost submissively.

Aaron growled almost feral like as he got up and roughly pulled Spencer to him, backing him up towards the bedroom as he kept the younger agent plastered against him. They were touching everywhere and at some point Aaron had gotten Spencer's shirt off him. When they got to the bedroom Aaron pushed Spencer down on the bed pulling the sweat pants off the young genius in one go. He was on the younger agent before Spencer knew what was happening.

Still feeling very dominant Aaron asked gruffly, "Condom?" He was panting hard.

"I…I'm clean…but…but…night.." He pointed out the top drawer of his nightstand. Aaron looked down and saw just how beautiful Spencer was. Sure he was thin and lanky, but his clothes hid the toned and surprisingly muscular frame. Long graceful limbs and milky white skin unmarred except for the left elbow. Aaron grabbed the lube but didn't bother with the condoms. Haley was the only person he'd been with since after college. He set the lube aside and went back to worshipping Spencer's body. He started by licking and sucking at the puncture marks in Spencer's elbow. Aaron was rewarded with sounds of mewling pleasure. He was getting hard again just listening to the cries and pleas that Spencer was spilling from his lips.

"Please Aaron, please I need you…" Aaron sat up and looked into the lust blown eyes of Spencer.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you Spencer". The young man shook his head yes and Aaron could feel the tugging of the bond as well encouraging him to claim Spencer as his soul mate. Aaron slicked up his fingers and slowly pushed one inside Spencer slowly sliding it in and out. As he did this he started to kiss and suckle at the tattoo and the pure feeling from the bond flooded Aaron's senses and he was no longer in control of his actions.

By the time Spencer was thrusting back on Aaron's three fingers the older man knew Spencer was ready. Aaron slicked up his reignited erection then slowly, almost painfully slow to Spencer he slid in. The two men gasped as they felt the bond flood over them, cementing further into each of them and when Aaron's hand made contact with the tattoo heat blossomed up his arm and settled into his heart. He knew right then what it was that he'd been feeling these last three years from Spencer and it was love. Spencer loved him.

He saw in Spencer's mind the moment the genius started to fall. It was after their encounter with Dowd, the man Spencer shot to save not only himself and Hotch, but all the hostages as well. He saw it was the grief assessment and how Aaron had talked Spencer through shooting another human being. Aaron kept that picture in his mind as he started to thrust uncontrollably.

"Yes, oh god Aaron yes," Spencer was begging, pleading for more and Aaron was more than willing to give. Aaron felt he was close when he reached down and grabbed Spencer's own hardness in his hand and started to pump. When he looked down into Spencer's eyes and when he touched the growing bond he felt it when Spencer was ready.

"Cum for me Spencer," He said as he leaned down and bit Spencer's neck, marking him, taking him as his soul mate. Spencer's eyes flew open and he looked right at Aaron as he shouted his bosses name and he came hard all over Aaron's hand and stomach. Aaron felt Spencer's muscles contract against him and he wasn't far behind when he finally spilled into Spencer as he cried out the young man's name. He collapsed next to his lover and pulled the young man into him, not wanting to let go. They didn't say a word as they slowly fell asleep wrapped up in each other's arms.

A few hours later Aaron was woken up by an incessant knocking on Spencer's front door.

"Spencer, wake-up, someone's knocking on your door". Spencer woke from the haze that both he and Aaron were under. The bond had completely cemented in them and put them under to help them recuperate.

They still heard the knocking and then shouting. Neither of them could quite hear who it was. Spencer got up and grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt and was finished putting them on when he finally opened the door.

There standing before them were Gideon and Morgan. Aaron hadn't called into the office and he wasn't at his apartment. The team started to get worried about where he was. So after Gideon told Morgan that Hotch came to check on Spencer this was the next logical place to look. Spencer forgot that they had both turned off their cell phones which meant Garcia couldn't track Aaron.

Morgan stormed in, "What the hell Reid? What's going on?"

Hotch walked out of the bedroom and the two new occupants mouths opened in shock.

Gideon was the first one to speak, "Hotch, have you been here all night?"

Hotch took a deep breath and looked at both men, "Yes. There is a lot we need to talk about".

Just then Morgan's eyes drifted to the coffee table and saw the narcotics and supplies laid out neatly. He looked back at Reid.

"Dammit Reid, please tell me…"

Hotch cut him off, "He didn't take it Morgan. Look, calm down…"

Morgan exploded in anger, "Calm down? Calm down Hotch? Do you even know what time it is? We've been trying to reach you two for hour's man. What has been goin' on?"

Hotch walked over and picked up the discarded watch and saw that it was after three in the afternoon. He quirked up a brow and showed Spencer the time. Spencer also quirked up his brown and said, "Really?"

The two visitors just looked at each other trying to figure out just what was going through their Unit Chiefs head.

"Well, Reid I think the only way to start this conversation is to show them, don't you?"

"It may be the only way". They both turned so that their left hips were facing Morgan and Gideon. They both made to lower their pants when Morgan put his hands up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute…"

"Morgan…shut up". Hotch said in his best Unit Chief voice to which Morgan backed down. Gideon however just watched the two men and waited to see what they were going to do.

When Aaron and Spencer exposed the tattoos realization dawned on Morgan. "Pretty boy, why didn't you say anything?" He asked not quite keeping the shock out of his voice.

"Because I just found out last night when Hotch came over to check on me".

Gideon just stood there assessing the situation, "So, does this mean the two of you have bonded?" His eyes never leaving his protégé.

Aaron cleared his throat, "Yes, Jason it does". Aaron waited in anticipation for the fight.

"Aaron did you know when you first told me about Spencer?" Gideon was fishing, trying to see if Aaron had, had an ulterior motive after he had told Jason of the genius five years prior.

Hotch's face darkened and he slid that stoic façade back in place and Spencer winced at the feeling, "No Jason I didn't. I really did not know till last night and I thought we put a moratorium on inter-team profiling". He said rather fiercely.

"Hotch, I'm not trying to profile here, I'm trying to understand. I've rarely seen this and I want to make sure you're both okay".

"Let's sit down". Aaron went over to the couch and didn't look back to see if the others would follow. He knew Spencer would and felt the young man's nervousness. Reid took the space next to Aaron who unconsciously put his arm around Reid's waist and pulled the man closer into him and Spencer followed suit by wrapping an arm around Aaron. They both needed the physical contact as the cemented bond was still so new.

Morgan and Gideon were shocked at watching Reid. Spencer Reid, germaphobe, who didn't like being touched was wrapped up in their Unit Chief.

"Hotch," Jason took a deep breath, "You never told me that you had that. When did it happen?"

Gideon knew some of Aaron's past, but Morgan didn't. Even after Morgan's confession about Carl Buford, Aaron still had a hard time confiding his own past experiences.

"I was fifteen. My father was in the hospital dying. He was hooked-up to these machines trying to prolong his life and I stood there and just watched". He closed his eyes finding it hard to continue. He felt the soothing warmth radiating from Reid flood his mind and it made it easier to continue. "I leaned down and said in his ear, 'I will never be broken you son of a bitch', then I felt this searing pain in my hip. When I went into the bathroom and looked to see what happened there it was. I was scared and when my Mother came to the room I showed her. She of course didn't believe me and proceeded to berate me for getting a tattoo behind their backs".

Hearing the story Morgan began to understand some things about their leader. He remembered the interrogation of Perotta, the Mafia hitman and some of the things Hotch had said. All of a sudden he felt immense respect because he could only imagine the emotional and physical torture that a young Aaron Hotchner had gone through. He understood why Hotch pushed him so much when Gordinski was trying to pin the murder of 3 boys on him. He was broken out of his revere when Hotch continued speaking.

"She then dragged me to several dermatologists to try to get it removed and each of them determined that there was nothing they could do, the tattoo went too deep. That was when I was sent to boarding school. She told me…" Hotch looked away and tried to school his emotions.

Spencer could see the memory though, "Hotch, I'm so sorry". And the young man placed a kiss on Aaron's lips right in front of their two visitors.

Gideon realized then just what exactly went on over the last few hours, "Hotch you don't have to tell us anymore. Spencer?"

"I was born with it Gideon. My mom said it appeared the moment I was born. Hotch must have said those words the exact moment of my birth". He didn't elaborate more.

Everyone was quiet each trying to process the events of the last nineteen hours. Ultimately it was Jason who finally broke the silence.

"Hotch, what are you going to do?"

"Well, Jason we haven't thought too far ahead. We ummm, we…" He didn't really want to discuss his sex life with anyone, let alone Jason Gideon. "Just cemented the bond so to speak and there's a lot Spencer and I have to talk about. I'm going to call in to Strauss and get two weeks leave so that we can understand what this is, and we need to talk to Haley as well. She needs to know what's going on".

Reid spoke up, "I think Garcia could help us with the research into bonded couples and all the laws that apply. Surely there has to be some precedent. Also we can find out as best we can what it is we should expect". He then started to babble on about the things he had researched himself on bonding.

"Reid," Aaron looked over at his partner cutting him off in his ramblings. "Jason, tell the rest of the team that we are okay, but please, don't say anything about the bonding, that should be left to us. Morgan, do not tell Garcia".

Morgan actually smiled at that, "Alright Hotch, but if you need anything from us please let us know". He still wasn't sure what was happening, but he would support his friends.

"Jason, you'll be in charge for the next couple of weeks while we figure all this out".

"Okay Hotch, but like Morgan said, if you need anything, let us know". The two men left but not all of their questions had been answered, but they trusted that Hotch and Reid knew what they were doing and would work it out.

Hotch sat back on the couch and pulled Reid closer to him. He placed a kiss on top of Reid's head, mind swirling trying to figure out their next move.

"Aaron?"

"Yeah Spencer?"

"Stop thinking so hard. And, I'm okay. I'm okay for today…" Reid left that thought unfinished because they knew they still had to deal with Spencer's addiction.

"Then we'll just take it one step at a time Spencer". Aaron got up and held out his hand and the two of them went back into the bedroom and spent several more hours getting to know each other physically and each time they came together they felt the bond take hold even more. When they finally had enough it was quite late and they sunk into the mattress wrapped around each other and tried to plan for the immediate future.


	3. Stumbling Blocks

**CHAPTER 3: STUMBLING BLOCKS**

The next morning the first thing that Hotch did was call Strauss and request two weeks personal time. When she started to grill him on why he just told her he needed to work out some personal things. She assumed it was with his wife and because she knew he was having problems she acquiesced. He knew she was going to be angry when she found out the truth, but hopefully they would be well informed once they had to confront her. The next thing Hotch did was call Garcia.

"Office of the all-knowing Oracle, speak and be wowed," She answered playfully.

It never ceased to amaze Hotch that Garcia's enthusiasm always put a smile on his face, "Garcia, I need you to come to Reid's and bring your laptop".

"Sir?"

"We need your help with something, but I don't want to discuss it over the phone. If the team gets a case you can work from here can't you?"

"Yes, I can bring some additional equipment to set-up there. Can you give me a hint?" She asked hopefully.

Hotch laughed, "No Penelope. Reid and I need your brand of research, if you know what I mean".

Her eyes got huge, "Okay, but what do I tell the team?"

"Jason knows where I am and what's going on. If he asks just tell him you're doing research for Spencer and I and he'll know what you mean".

"Okay bossman, does an hour sound okay?"

"Perfect. Oh and Garcia?"

"Yes sir?"

"Other than Morgan and Jason, keep this on the down low".

"You got it my liege".

Hotch hung up with Garcia and looked over to Reid. The young man had spent a rough night throwing up, sweating and shaking. Hotch helped him as best he could with the muscle spasms and his fragile emotional state.

"Spencer," Hotch said gently.

He looked up at his mate with a look of utter shame, "Yes Aaron?"

Aaron's heart broke watching Spencer go through the withdrawal and unfortunately he could feel the cravings coming through.

"Garcia will be here in an hour. Do you need help taking a shower?"

Reid shook his head, got up and moved to the bathroom. Aaron, in the meantime, searched Spencer's kitchen for something easy for Reid's stomach. He sighed deeply and knew the next few days were going to be crucial. As he was searching Reid's kitchen he felt Spencer's need and he immediately went to the young agent.

Spencer was standing with both hands gripping the sink, head bowed as his wet hair dripped down. He was fighting the craving, cursing Hankel, cursing himself. When he felt strong steady arms wrap around him he wanted to cry.

"Shhh, Spencer, it's okay, I'm here". He didn't care that Spencer was still wet, the young man was shaking, not from being wet, but from the need coursing through his veins. Aaron turned him around and took Spencer's face in his hands and softly kissed him. The young man pressed against the older agent trying to will his body not to need the narcotic. Aaron engulfed him in his arms and let Reid ride it out.

Hotch pulled him into the bedroom and they sat on the bed, "Spencer, how can I help you?"

"I don't know Aaron. It's like this every time. I stop then the withdrawal. Dilauded has a short withdrawal period, but it's one of the worst, believe me I've done all the research already." He explained as he shook in the older man's arms. "I hate this Aaron." He whispered.

Aaron closed his eyes and he hurt for the younger man. He hurt for him because his innocence and will had been stripped from him. Spencer, his Spencer had been wide-eyed, innocent and inquisitive. His mind was always so active and he stayed behind the wall of his intellect only letting a few people in. It was that thought that made Aaron pause. Maybe, just maybe he knew the root cause of the addiction. It wasn't just the cravings, there was a driving force in Spencer that kept him going back.

"Spencer, can I ask you a question?" Aaron tried to keep his voice neutral.

"What is it?" He asked in a shaky voice.

Aaron knew this might be a volatile question, but he had to ask it, "I believe the reason you keep going back to it is because it stills your mind. It helps you let go of the constant motion. Am I right?"

Spencer slowly looked up at Aaron with a stunned look on his face, "How…how'd you know?"

"Really? It's not that hard of a leap to make Spence. You're intelligence has always amazed me, but…"

"But, what?" Spencer felt that this was going to be a turning point for them. He felt that Aaron was on the verge of some kind of confession and he wasn't sure if he was ready.

Aaron lifted his hand and placed it on Spencer's jaw, stroking it softly, "You're afraid Spencer. You're afraid that you are going to end up like your Mother. You believe that it's almost like the voices that your Mother hears."

Reid looked stunned and he didn't want to hear anymore because he felt the truth in those words. He didn't know how Aaron did it, but he had pushed past all of Spencer's defenses and saw _him._

Aaron took a deep breath and continued, "But, Spencer you are not going to end up like your Mother."

Spencer dropped his head on Aaron's shoulder, "How do you know Aaron? "

"I just know. I know this is the crucial time for you. You've probably been worried about this for a while. I've seen you're frustration." Aaron closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath, "Can I make a confession?"

Spencer frowned, he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what his Unit Chief had to say, but he knew he couldn't run from it either.

"What?" He quietly asked.

"It's true that I've been amazed at what you know, but it's what you do with it that makes me smile. Spencer, you've always meant more to me than I even admitted to myself. You impress me with your mind, you challenge me, not only as a leader, but as you're friend. I've come to cherish those times you seek me out, when you have a puzzle and you want to bounce an idea off someone. Somehow Spencer, in the last three years you've wormed your way into my life, you've become important to me. If this hadn't happened, I don't know how much longer I would have lasted."

Spencer was taken aback at the confession. This was more open than Aaron Hotchner had ever been. Before he could say anything though there was a knock at the door.

Hotch let out a frustrated sigh, he knew they were on the verge of something, the root to the reason Reid kept going back to the drug, but now they had things they needed to do.

"Get dressed, that's Garcia. I have some soup gently simmering if you want to try to eat something."

Aaron moved to open the door when Reid caught his hand, "You became important to me to Aaron." He looked at his boss with such emotion that it was like a punch in the gut. Aaron was taken aback at the feelings that Reid was sending his way. He cupped Reid's cheek, bent down and softly kissed him, letting the younger man know he understood.

Aaron stood up and went to let Garcia in.

"Hey Hotch. I brought what I thought I might need. Where should I set-up?"

Just then Reid came out of the bedroom, "Hey Garcia, you can set-up over here," He pointed to the coffee table in the living room area. She smiled at Reid and then went about getting her equipment ready.

She hadn't seen Reid since the kidnapping, but she saw he looked on edge. She came up to him and engulfed him in a hug, "Don't do that to me again," She whispered in his ear, "I tried to do my best, I tried," Her eyes misted as thoughts of seeing her junior g-man on Henkels monitors ran through her head.

Reid pulled her into a hug, "I know Penny, I know." He pulled back and let her get back to setting-up. He moved to the kitchen to see what Hotch was doing.

"There's coffee, and I made a vegetable broth. You didn't have much but I was able to get something together. Do you think you could keep some down?" Hotch kept his voice low knowing that Spencer wouldn't want Penny to know what was going on.

"Um, I could try." He smiled sadly, not really knowing what he needed but he liked the feeling of being cared for.

"Okay. " Hotch poured some of the broth into a cup for Reid so that he could slowly sip it. Testing it out he was surprised just how good it was.

"Hey bossman, baby genius, I'm up and running in here." The two men walked into the room and sat on the couch together.

"Penny," Aaron smiled at the analyst trusting her with what he was going to tell her, "Penny, I need you to keep what I, we, tell you to yourself, okay?"

She frowned slightly as she looked at the two men, "Of course Hotch, Reid, I'd never betray you're trust." And they knew the words were true. Sure little things she sometimes couldn't keep to herself, but Garcia would always keep her friends secrets when it mattered.

Aaron looked over to Reid and smiled that rare brilliant smile, "Spencer and I bonded. Have you heard of soul tattoos?"

Her eyes were wide and she shook her head yes, "I've heard they are rare. You two?" She asked hesitantly, not wanting to pry too much.

"Yes Penny and we need your help with some research. What can you find on any laws regarding employment? Let's start there and we'll move on."

"Okay, give me a little bit and I'll see what I can find." It took her some time but they were able to find several precedents regarding soul bonding.

It was several hours later and the two men had a new wealth of knowledge that was going to go a long way in not only keeping their jobs, but leverage Hotch could use with Haley.

They had dinner with Garcia working some more with them trying to put as much information together as she could. It was late by the time Aaron ordered her home. Spencer had done well, holding it together for most of the day. They were both exhausted and they went to bed early. There was a lot Aaron wanted to do in the next couple of days, telling Haley being one of them.

* * *

><p>Aaron was asleep when the nightmare hit Reid. He was back in that cabin in the cemetery and it was the Raphael persona standing over him, punishing him for some perceived wrong, making him choose who lives and who dies.<p>

Spencer bolted out of bed, trying not to wake his mate. He locked himself in his bathroom trying to get himself under control. The need for the drug was always strongest after his nightmares and even with the comforting presence of his lover it still wasn't enough. He was shaking and crying his body begging with need. And in that moment he made a rash decision, he scrambled in the bathroom for the hidden stash he kept there. With shaking hands he tied the tourniquet just above his elbow, prepared the syringe and with tears flowing down his face for what he was about to do, he injected the drug into his veins.

The reaction was immediate he fell back against the bathroom wall with relief. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the euphoria. His mind wandered and normally he'd have visions of his childhood, but not this time, this time something was different. Something was pulling him in and when he realized that it wasn't his mind he was exploring it was Aaron's it was too late.

The memory, for that's what it surely was, was strong. He saw a large house, not quite a mansion, but it screamed privilege and wealth loomed in front of him. Almost of his own accord he walked-up to the front door, tried the knob and found it opened easily.

"You're not supposed to be here. Leave, leave now or he'll find you," A small boy, no older than eight or nine ran up to him trying to urge him to leave.

"Who will find me?" Spencer bent down to look boy in the eye.

"Him," The boy whispered, "You can't be here, please I don't want him to hurt you." The pleading in the boy's eyes broke Spencer's heart.

"_AARON MICHAEL HOTCHNER_, _get up here right now young man_," Spencer heard a very angry sounding man yelling from the second floor.

All of a sudden the scene changed and Spencer saw he was in a study, a man was sitting at his desk with a stern stoic look on his face and the boy, who Reid figured out was a young Aaron, stood there shaking.

"_I'm very disappointed in you young man. Do you know why?"_ The sternness in the voice frightened even Reid.

"_N-n-no sir," _The boy stumbled on the word.

"_You're grades Aaron. Two B's? You know that is unacceptable."_ The man got up from his desk and moved over to the young boy, _"You know what this means." _ The man loomed over the boy scaring him even more. He took off his belt and the boy was shaking, knowing what was coming. Spencer tried to shield the boy, but realized this was a memory and he was merely an observer.

The beating was harsh, but the boy wouldn't cry out, wouldn't make a noise. He held his head high, though tears were flowing down his face. He wouldn't break, not even when the man was berating him, telling him what a failure of a son that he had been burdened with.

When it was over Spencer expected the young Aaron Hotchner to flee, but he didn't he walked upstairs and to his room. He carefully undressed and Spencer's eyes went wide when he saw the scars on the young boy's back. The new welts crisscrossed all down Aaron's back and legs.

The boy walked into his small bathroom and started the shower on hot, as hot as he could stand. He stood under it, head hung low and after a few minutes he curled up and finally let go the torrent of emotions he had held back. Spencer's heart was breaking and shame flooded through him feeling he violated something.

After what seemed like several hours Spencer came out of the haze and moved into the bedroom. What he saw when he stumbled in the bedroom broke his heart. Aaron had been thrashing in the bed from the nightmare. Now though he was curled up into himself and tears were flowing down his face.

"I'll be good, no please," Spencer looked stricken, he knew he did this and he knew that there might not be anything to fix it.

"Aaron," Spencer slurred out trying to wake Aaron out of the nightmare. "Aaron you're dreaming, wake up."

Aaron bolted upright, he looked at Reid with pain and anger warring in his eyes.

"Spencer," He bowed his head, the euphoric feelings from the drug Spencer had taken was still coursing through him, "How could you," Aaron didn't say anything for a long time before he violently lurched from the bed, threw on some clothes and started to walk out the door.

"Aaron, I'm sorry, don't go, please," Spencer was begging him not to walk out that door.

"Spencer I need to not be around you right now. I trusted you, what have you done? I trusted you," He said brokenly as he grabbed his wallet and keys. He reached for the door when Spencer grabbed his arm.

"Please Aaron, I tried, I tried to fight it, I'm sorry I didn't know," Tears were flowing down his face as he begged his lover not to walk out that door.

Aaron stumbled slightly, still feeling the after affects of the drug coursing though Spencer's veins.

"Let go." Aaron said harshly as he gripped Spencer's hand and pried his fingers off. "Let go." He said more forcefully. Spencer complied as he crumpled to the floor begging Aaron not to walk out the door.

"I can't be around you right now Spencer." Aaron said as he flung open the door and stormed out, leaving Spencer an emotional wreck on the floor.


	4. Re-Building Trust

It was several hours later when Aaron came back. At one point he wasn't even sure if he was coming back, he was so angry. He knew he had been harsh, that Spencer's addiction wasn't going away in a day, but he felt so betrayed.

Spencer was on the couch curled up in some blankets books scattered all around him. He had tried to read but he couldn't concentrate. He was an emotional wreck, crying and fighting the need for dilauded. He knew he screwed up. He wasn't sure how he was going to fix it, or if Aaron would even let him. Spencer heard the door open he didn't move, he didn't dare hope.

Aaron threw his keys on the side table near the door, walked over to the chair across from the couch and heavily sat down. He stared at Spencer for a long time not saying anything trying to still get his emotions under control. It was a long time before Aaron spoke and Spencer was on edge the whole time.

"Why Spencer?" Aaron was trying to hold in his emotions. "Why did you do it?" He sounded so broken and Spencer felt guilty for making him feel that way..

"Aaron," Spencer wouldn't even meet Aaron's eyes, his shame flooding him. He hadn't meant to hurt Aaron it was just so easy, too easy to give in and stop fighting the craving. "I-I'm sorry Aaron, I tried, I tried to fight it…." Spencer curled in tighter into himself and cried.

Aaron closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he had felt Spencer's confused and scared emotions and ultimately that's what brought him back. He moved to the couch and pulled the younger man into his arms, carding his hands through Spencer's hair. The young genius kept sobbing and saying he was sorry, almost like a mantra.

Aaron felt shame at his reaction, but he was so angry that the combination of the bond and the drug allowed Spencer into one of his worst most private memories. He kissed the top of Spencer's head and that caused the young man to hold on tighter to him.

"God Spencer, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I walked out on you. I just needed to clear my head, get some distance. Everything has happened so fast." He stroked the young man's back pulling him even tighter to him. "It's okay, It's okay."

Finally after Spencer calmed down he sat up and looked at Hotch with a tear stained face. "I-I um had a nightmare," His voice hitched as he tried to get control. He cleared his throat before he continued, "I ah, I was back there, in that cabin," He lowered his head, "It was just too much." He looked up at Aaron, "I didn't know, I'm so sorry I didn't know that was going to happen."

Aaron closed his eyes at the rise of the painful childhood memory. He cleared his throat and he thought carefully before he spoke, "You should have woken me up. We could have worked through it together. Spence…" Aaron took the younger man's hand in his, "We are in this together now don't you see that? This bond it, it's connected us in ways we've yet to understand. This," He pulled on Spencer's arm so that the fresh track was visible to both of them, "Cannot come between us." He reached up to cup Spencer's cheek, softly stroking his thumb across it. "I don't know when or how it happened but," His mouth went dry before he plunged ahead with his confession, "You've become so very important to me," His heart was racing as he leaned forward and took possession of Spencer's mouth. The younger man melted slowly into the kiss, opening his mouth to let his lover in.

"Aaron," He sighed as they broke apart.

"Spencer," Aaron untangled his lover from the blankets and pulled him down so that Spencer was laid out beneath him. "I-I lo-"

Spencer put a finger on his lips, "Don't say it. Not yet, not till we figure this all out, till we figure me out, please?" His voice was thick with emotion on the verge of tears again.

Aaron leaned down and placed gentle kisses on his cheeks, eyes, forehead and eventually back to his mouth. They were soft gentle and comforting. But, Aaron was holding back the bond, not letting it free. He wanted to feel Spencer without it, wanted to experience his lover as if it didn't exist. Spencer looked up in confusion at the withdrawal of the bond.

"Shhh, I want to touch you, feel you without it, just once, please?" The older man looked pleadingly at Spencer and the young genius understood. He then did the same thing held it back by sheer will. Slowly, achingly slow Aaron undressed Spencer, running his hands over his lover feeling him with just his own senses. It was erotic and gentle at the same time.

Spencer's hands were under Aaron's shirt exploring his chest, hands running up his back, nails lightly scraped down as Aaron's mouth was kissing and licking a hot trail along his neck. Spencer grabbed the hem of Aaron's shirt and pulled it off him.

Aaron stood up and shed the rest of his clothes, held out his hand for Spencer as they moved into the bedroom. Aaron took his time, touching, tasting, finding out what the younger man liked and didn't. When Aaron finally slid in and slowly moved with Spencer there was no teasing only feeling and what he was feeling was overwhelming.

Aaron maneuvered them to where he was leaning back against the headboard with his arms and legs wrapped around Spencer and the younger man was wrapped around him. Again they slowly moved with each other drawing out the pleasure not just of their combined bodies, but of their hands constantly moving all over each other. And when Aaron couldn't hold back anymore he released his hold on the bond and it flared hot and intense between them. His head fell forward on Spencer's shoulder and he cried as the orgasm took him over the edge.

Spencer felt when Aaron released the bond and when it touched that part of him he was also holding back a combination of pain and pleasure shot through him. He didn't even have to touch himself he was coming hard coating their stomachs with the white sticky substance.

Aaron didn't care as he wrapped his arms around Spencer and pulled him in tight against him. Silent tears still fell at the emotional as well as physical release.

Spencer's head was on Aaron's shoulder as his body was coming down off of a similar physical and emotional release. His arms were wrapped around Aaron, holding on tightly as he tried to process everything that was happening.

"What do I do Aaron," He whispered softly, his pain and confusion coming through. "I try to stop, try to move on and it grips me." He didn't move, didn't want to move, he felt safe, so very safe in the arms of the one man he'd always trusted. He knew he had broken that trust, but he hoped that he could get it back, somehow.

Aaron sighed, he held his lover tighter carding his fingers through Spencer's hair, trying to reassure Spencer he was there. "First thing we do is get rid of everything, and I mean it Spencer, every hiding place you have, we raid and get rid of it all. Then we deal with your withdrawal. It won't be easy, but you're not alone."

Spencer buried his head in Aaron's shoulder, "Okay," He said not sounding confidant, but willing to try.

"This isn't going to be easy on you Spencer. And I know you're going to be tempted, but I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere okay?"

"Aaron, I didn't mean to invade, I mean I'm sorry-" He closed his eyes, "That was a private memory and I broke your trust, can you ever forgive me?" Aaron thought he sounded so broken and he felt he was partially to blame.

Aaron pulled Spencer away so he could look at him face to face, "Spencer," He took a deep breath, "Yes, it hurts and I'll be honest my trust is a little shaky right now, but," He cupped Spencer's cheek, "It's not completely broken. This is going to take work, on both of our parts." He leaned in and kissed Spencer, "But I want to work this out."

"Aaron I want to work it out too."

"You wake me when you have a nightmare like that and we'll work through it, together. If the cravings get to be too much you have to tell me. You can't keep all of this in or we'll have a repeat of tonight and neither of us wants that."

Spencer promised all of these things, he just hoped that he was strong enough to follow through.

The lovers broke apart and cleaned up. Both were exhausted from the emotional upheaval of the evening. They crawled into bed and quickly fell back to sleep.

* * *

><p>The morning brought another bought of withdrawal for Spencer, but he kept his word and told Aaron all of his hiding places, even the hallowed out book in the middle of his bookcase. Together they dumped everything. They spent the day talking, Spencer trying to put into words why he kept going back, and it wasn't just the nightmares. Tobias had played on his feelings of guilt for putting his mother in the sanitarium. Aaron tried to talk him through those feelings, tried to make him realize he couldn't have done anything differently.<p>

"Spencer, would you consider going to NA?" Aaron asked cautiously.

"I don't know." He answered honestly, but it was enough for Aaron to put the idea in the young genius's head. If he knew Spencer as well as he thought he did, the young man would research it to death and hopefully make the right decision.

Spencer was right in that the withdrawal period for dilauded was short, mercifully short, thought Aaron, but it was also one of the worst as well. When the genius broke down in Aaron's arms from the pain and nausea, promising that he didn't ever want to feel like this again, it broke Aaron's heart and he again cursed the man that did this to his mate.

At night if a nightmare hit, Spencer was good to his word and woke Aaron up so they could talk it through and if the cravings got too bad Aaron held him through the shaking and the begging. It wasn't ideal, but for the time being it was working.

At the end of the week Spencer was wrung out, but he held on. He held on because someone was there that cared about him, he held on because he realized he wasn't alone anymore. Aaron didn't judge him and they worked through the feelings of hurt and betrayal that Aaron had felt. By Sunday Spencer was beginning to have hope that he could get through this and they could move on.

"I have to tell Haley about us, are you ready for that?" Aaron let himself feel what Spencer was feeling. There was apprehension on Spencer's part.

"What if she tries to keep Jack from you because of this?"

"Well, I'll just bring up the court cases showing that bonded couples have had no choice. If she pushes it we would have to go through the testing, do you think you could do that?"

"If it kept you and Jack together, I would do anything for that Aaron." He looked at the man he loved. "When do you want to tell her?"

"I was thinking we meet with her tomorrow. We can do it here, at my apartment or we go somewhere public." Aaron waited for Spencer to give him his answer.

"We should do it at your apartment. You're more comfortable there and it would give you the upper hand." Spencer answered honestly.

"Okay, I'll go call her." Aaron knew this was going to be a big test for Spencer and his tenuous hold on sobriety.

Aaron called his soon to-be ex-wife and told her they needed to talk. At first she demanded to know over the phone but he told her they needed to see each other in person. They set the time for eleven the next day.

* * *

><p>Aaron, Spencer and Haley we sitting in Aaron's living room drinking coffee. The tension in the air was palpable and Aaron could feel Spencer's distress. He unconsciously reached over and laid a hand on Spencer's thigh giving him a gentle squeeze. Aaron felt immediately that it calmed the young genius down. Finally it was Haley that spoke.<p>

"So, Aaron, what did you need to see me about," Her voice sounded detached but Aaron could tell that there was still some anger on her part. It also didn't go unnoticed that her eyes tracked Aaron's hands as he touched the other man.

"Haley there is no easy way to tell you this but Spencer," He turned his head and smiled at his youngest agent and lover, "Has the same tattoo that I do." He let that sink in for a moment.

"What!?, Did he find out about it somehow _Aaron?_ Is he so infatuated with you that he now has to be like you?" Her voice was laced with venom as she lashed out.

"I was born with it. I have medical records documenting it-" Spencer was cut off by the look the blonde woman was sending his way.

"So what are you telling me Aaron?"

Aaron took a deep breath, "Spencer and I have bonded Haley." He let the words sink in and waited for her reaction.

She sat there stunned, not knowing what to say, but when she finally found her voice again Aaron knew she was angry, "What the hell do you mean you've bonded? Are you telling me you're now some kind of-" She stopped speaking at the dark look that Aaron was giving her.

"I would not finish that sentence if I were you Haley. I never lied to you. I didn't believe in the soul tattoo thing and you know it, but I do now." He looked at the woman that he once had loved so much and in a way still did, but it was nothing compared to the depth of feeling that was in his heart and his soul for the young man next to him.

Haley breathed deep as she saw the dark look Aaron was giving her, "I'm just trying to understand what is going on here. Don't make me the bad guy, I'm not the one who chose the job over family."

Aaron surged off the couch anger flashing across his face."No, you just decided to screw around," Haley's eyes widened in shock. "Yes I know Haley, the strange phone calls all hours of the day, how sometimes you'd run out of the house on an 'errand'. Did you think you could really hide that from me? I'm a goddamn profiler." He was seething with anger.

Spencer flinched at the dark heavy emotions seeping through the bond. He closed his eyes and tried to stay calm letting Aaron feel the soothing emotions.

"Aaron, I-I," Haley was stunned and didn't know how to react to the knowledge that Aaron knew about her affair.

"Look, there is nothing you can do Haley. If you need some kind of proof there are tests and we are both willing to take them, but this it is what it is." He slowly sat back down letting Spencer sooth and calm him down.

"Fine." She let her anger show and in a last ditch effort to try to save what little power she had, "But if you think that I'm letting Jack be around this Aaron," She knew right then she over stepped by the way Aaron went silent. His normal anger and the few times he raged she could take. The quiet calm anger is truly when Aaron got dangerous.

"You will do no such thing Haley. We've already worked out visitation and if you try and go back on that I will bury you. Jack is my son too and I will be in his life. Now, we _are _going to act like adults here and do what's best for Jack. Do you understand me?" He gave her the look that he normally reserved for particularly tough unsubs.

She knew that she was beaten at this point, "Is he going to be around?" He nodded her head towards Spencer.

"_HE _has a name and my name is Spencer Reid. I will not be a pawn in your fight with Aaron. I'm sorry if you're feeling hurt Haley, but," He grabbed Aaron's hand and held it, "What we have can't be broken." He looked at her daring her to defy what was between him and Aaron.

Aaron looked over at his bond-mate with a quirked brow. He forgot over the last few days just how fierce Spencer could be when pushed, and the young man had been pushed almost to the breaking point. He was glad that Spencer found his strength because it meant that he was healing and they had hope of moving forward.

Haley bowed her head and tried not to cry. "Fine, fine it seems I won't be able to win here." She looked up her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

Aaron closed his eyes to get his emotions under control, "Haley, this isn't about winning and losing. I'm truly sorry that it's come to this, I am." He schooled his expression before continuing, "But this is our reality now and we all need to accept it."

She looked at Aaron with pain in her eyes, "I just have one question, and please be honest with me."

"What is it?" He asked warily.

"Do you love him?"

Aaron couldn't help it when he looked over at Spencer, his smiled told her everything, "Yes Haley, I love him."

* * *

><p>Haley left shattered, but it couldn't be helped and Aaron felt at least some sympathy for his soon to be ex.<p>

Aaron and Spencer had been sitting curled up on the couch together just enjoying the silence. Aaron was proud of Spencer for standing up for himself, "Spencer."

"Yes Aaron?"

"I'm proud that you stood up for yourself. I don't want you to ever feel intimidated by Haley."

"Thanks, but you didn't deserve that from her Aaron."

"Sometimes I think I do." The thoughts of his regrets running through his mind, and Spencer could feel the weight of those regrets weighing on him.

"Aaron, I know it's difficult but I think you have to let it go. I'm a walking example of keeping everything inside." He turned his gaze on his lover and told him about the decision he had come to, "Aaron, I'm ah, I'm going to go to one of those meetings."

Aaron smiled and secretly thanked whatever gods were out there that Spencer had taken his suggestion to heart. "Okay, that's good." Aaron's happiness was coming through and it made Spencer smile.

"So, there's a more pressing issue we need to discuss." Aaron had wanted to bring up living arrangements, but he didn't want to do it till he knew Spencer was stronger.

"What?" Spencer wasn't sure he was going to like whatever Aaron brought up.

"Our living arrangements, we need to figure out where we want to live."

"Oh," Spencer didn't expect that at all."Um, I hadn't thought about that."

"Well, we have three options, your apartment, my apartment or we look for a new place together."

Spencer thought about it for a minute going over every detail in his head. It was a while before he spoke, "Um, I think maybe your place. It's bigger than mine and maybe later when we know for sure what this is between us we can get something new, something bigger."

Aaron liked the idea of Spencer in his place, and the younger man was right in that his place was bigger, so he agreed.

A few days later they were moving Spencer into his apartment. They had to place some of his things in storage, but he insisted on bringing his books. Even if they were packed and stacked in the corner he still felt better having them there.

The first time Aaron had Jack for the weekend with Spencer there the toddler was ecstatic. He immediately took to the young genius to which Aaron was surprised. Seems young Jack broke The Reid Effect.

Later that night as they were lying in bed, Spencer's head on Aaron's chest he sighed in contentment, "Aaron, thank you."

Aaron frowned, "For what Spencer?"

"For coming back that night," Spencer didn't have to elaborate Aaron knew. "I know I messed up Aaron, and I'm really trying, so thank you."

"Spencer, you don't have to thank me. I think I was going to come back anyway, it's just that the shock of what happened, I was angry and I hurt you by leaving like I did, but I've moved on from it and I hope you have too."

"I have Aaron, thanks to you." He moved on top of his lover taking his mouth in a deep passionate kiss.

Aaron wraps his arms around his lover letting the bond flow freely between them as they slowly made love, knowing that whatever the future brought, they were stronger together.


End file.
